How Managers Can Respond When Someone Speaks Up
One of the mistakes organisations make when thinking about workplace harassment is focusing almost exclusively on the investigation.
Investigations are important. They help establish what happened, test the evidence and determine whether workplace standards have been breached. However, by the time an investigator becomes involved, a great deal has already happened. The employee has decided whether they trust the organisation enough to speak up. They have decided whether it feels safe to raise a concern. They have formed views about whether anybody is likely to listen.
In my experience, those decisions are often shaped by the first response they receive.
I have investigated complaints where the original concern was relatively straightforward, but the manager’s response created lasting damage. I have also seen situations where managers handled difficult disclosures exceptionally well, creating enough trust for the organisation to address the issue constructively. The quality of that first conversation can influence everything that follows.
This is partly because managers and employees often enter the conversation with very different concerns.
The manager is usually trying to work out what has happened and what they should do next. They are thinking about process, risk and responsibility. The employee is often trying to work out whether speaking up was the right decision. They may have spent weeks or months debating whether to say anything at all. They may be worried about how they will be perceived, whether they will be believed or what impact the conversation could have on their career.
That difference matters because it can lead well intentioned managers down the wrong path.
A manager who wants to understand the situation quickly may start asking questions such as, “Are you sure that’s what they meant?” or “Why didn’t you raise it at the time?” From the manager’s perspective, these may feel like reasonable questions. They are trying to gather information and make sense of what they are hearing.
The employee, however, may experience those questions very differently.
What was intended as fact finding can feel like scepticism. What was intended as clarification can feel like doubt. The employee can leave the conversation feeling as though they are being assessed before they have even had the opportunity to explain their concerns fully.
That does not mean managers should avoid asking questions. It means they need to be thoughtful about the purpose of the conversation.
Too often, managers slip into investigation mode far too early.
They start testing evidence, looking for inconsistencies or trying to determine whether the allegation is likely to be upheld. The difficulty is that the first conversation is rarely the point at which those questions need to be answered.
The immediate priority is usually much simpler.
The employee needs to know they have been heard. They need to understand what happens next. They need confidence that the concern will be taken seriously and handled appropriately.
That confidence is surprisingly easy to undermine.
I often hear managers say things such as, “I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that,” or, “Let’s not make this bigger than it needs to be.” These comments are rarely malicious. In fact, they are often attempts to reassure the employee or de-escalate the situation.
The problem is that reassurance can sometimes come at the expense of understanding.
Before a manager has explored what happened, they have already introduced an alternative explanation. Before the employee has finished explaining their experience, they have already been encouraged to minimise it.
Even if that is not the manager’s intention, it can have a significant impact on trust.
This is where a trauma aware approach can be helpful, although I think the phrase is often misunderstood.
Being trauma aware does not mean turning managers into counsellors. It does not mean accepting allegations without scrutiny or abandoning fairness. It simply means recognising that people may respond to difficult experiences in different ways.
Some employees will provide a clear and detailed account. Others may appear anxious, upset or uncertain. Some may focus on details that seem unimportant. Others may struggle to remember events in a neat chronological order.
Managers do not need to diagnose or explain these responses. They simply need to avoid making assumptions about what a genuine disclosure should look like.
The most effective managers are often the ones who remain curious for longer. Rather than rushing towards explanations or conclusions, they focus on understanding the concern being raised and helping the employee navigate the next steps.
That approach is not just better for the individual involved. It is also better for the organisation.
When employees lose confidence in the first response they receive, they are less likely to trust the process that follows. They may disengage from an investigation, seek support elsewhere or conclude that speaking up was a mistake. In some cases, the handling of the disclosure becomes a bigger issue than the behaviour that was originally reported.
This is why I often describe managers as workplace first responders.
The first response does not determine whether an allegation is upheld, but it can determine whether employees have confidence in the organisation’s willingness to address concerns fairly. It can influence whether people feel respected throughout the process and whether others watching from the sidelines believe it is safe to speak up themselves.
Policies matter. Investigations matter. Outcomes matter.
However, by the time those things happen, an employee has often already formed a view about the organisation based on a single conversation.
For organisations that genuinely want to create safer workplaces, that conversation deserves far more attention than it often receives. The goal is not to have the perfect script or the perfect answer. The goal is to listen well enough, respond thoughtfully enough and build enough trust that the employee feels able to continue the process.
Because whilst investigations establish what happened, the first response often determines whether employees believe the organisation cares enough to find out.
At Tell Jane, we help organisations build manager confidence through our First Responder and Approachable Leadership training, giving managers the skills to handle difficult conversations with clarity, empathy and confidence. If you’d like support strengthening your organisation’s response to workplace harassment, we’d be happy to help.
