Motherhood is a full-time job in itself, but many women also juggle successful careers alongside their family responsibilities. Despite the progress made toward gender equality, working mothers often face subtle and pervasive challenges in the workplace. These challenges, known as microaggressions, are small, often unconscious comments or actions that can undermine a mother’s professional confidence and success. Here are 10 common examples of microaggressions that mothers face at work:
1. Questioning commitment
“Are you sure you can handle this project with your kids at home?”
This comment assumes that a mother’s responsibilities at home detract from her ability to commit fully to her work. It implies doubt about her professional capability based solely on her role as a parent.
2. Assumptions about priorities
“I didn’t invite you to the after-hours meeting because I figured you’d need to get home to the kids.”
While this may be said with good intentions, it makes an assumption about a mother’s priorities without giving her the chance to decide for herself. It can lead to feelings of exclusion and missed opportunities for career advancement.
3. Expectations of sacrifice
“Can’t someone else pick up the kids for once?”
This statement reinforces traditional gender roles and assumes that the responsibility of child-rearing falls primarily on the mother, ignoring the potential for shared parenting duties or support from partners or family members.
4. Unsolicited parenting advice
“Maybe you should consider part-time work until your kids are older.”
Offering such advice unprompted can be condescending and implies that a mother cannot manage a full-time career while raising children. It undermines her professional autonomy and decision-making ability.
5. Doubts about professionalism
“Oh, you missed the meeting? Must have been a kid-related emergency.”
This comment not only questions a mother’s professionalism but also minimises her legitimate professional challenges by attributing any lapse to her parental role.
6. Surprise at performance
“Wow, I didn’t expect you to handle this project so well with everything you have going on at home.”
Expressing surprise at a mother’s ability to perform well at work implies that her professional skills are somehow diminished by her role as a parent, which can be both insulting and discouraging.
7. Inappropriate comments on appearance
“You look tired today, did the kids keep you up last night?”
Commenting on a mother’s appearance in relation to her children can be intrusive and unprofessional. It shifts the focus from her work performance to her physical state, which should be irrelevant in a professional setting.
8. Exclusion from opportunities
“I thought you wouldn’t want the promotion since it involves travel and late hours.”
Assuming that a mother would not be interested in or capable of handling a promotion due to its demands can unfairly limit her career growth and professional development.
9. Questioning dedication
“Do you think you can really be dedicated to your career now that you’re a mum?”
This question implies that a mother’s dedication to her career is inherently compromised by her parental responsibilities, which can be deeply invalidating and dismissive of her professional aspirations.
10. Stereotypical gender roles
“It’s great that you help with the family income, but isn’t your partner the main breadwinner?”
Such comments reinforce outdated gender roles and diminish a mother’s contributions to her family and her career, suggesting that her work is secondary to her partner’s. This assumption can be particularly problematic for single mothers or those in same-sex relationships.
Addressing microaggressions in the workplace
Microaggressions can create a hostile work environment and hinder a mother’s professional progress. Here are some steps to address and mitigate these subtle forms of discrimination:
- Raise awareness: Educate employees and managers about what microaggressions are and how they impact working mothers.
- Encourage open dialogue: Foster an environment where employees feel comfortable discussing their experiences and concerns without fear of retaliation.
- Implement policies: Develop and enforce policies that promote equality and inclusivity, ensuring that all employees, regardless of their parental status, are treated fairly.
- Provide support: Offer resources and support for working mothers, such as flexible working hours, parental leave, and childcare assistance.
- Promote inclusive leadership: Encourage leaders to model inclusive behaviour and to actively challenge stereotypes and biases in the workplace.
If you want to read more about supporting working parents click here.
By acknowledging and addressing microaggressions, we can create a more supportive and equitable workplace for everyone, allowing mothers to thrive both personally and professionally.
Tell Jane can help you support parents in your workforce with our training workshops. Delivered by skilled trainers with lived experiences, leaders will be able to discuss the importance of helping parents feel welcome in the workplace and how this could be achieved at your company. Email hello@telljane.co.uk to find out more.
